tears... | brokenalways's Blog
What's wrong with me?
life is shit
Contemplating suicide more, though i thought i was getting better
I don't see how people who have had way more shittness in their life than me- but they can get past it- they are better- they are happy.
i just am broken. I'm fucked up.
I don't know how i can change- cause I've been trying for so long. And that's all i fucking want- is to change. Forever.
so. Tonight i felt sick and somehow still rough from last nights drunken times. Now im laid in my white bra and white and pink linned knickers with my hair shoved up and still with fluffy socks on.
listening to depressing music and trying not to cry...
though i can't say i have been successful in not crying tonight.
But only a few tears, but enough now my pillow has tears on and my face is cold and wet...
tomorrow should be okay. Up and shopping with the mother. Then in the afternoon some family is coming over who we rarely see, so that should be okay.
gonna try and sleep now. Fucking shattered. Damm.
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