Defining me... | brokenalways's Blog

Like pure emptiness and nothingness today.
Stayed in bed till 1pm, had late dinner and a snack, stayed in the conserverty all day laid on the couch next to the heater watching tele in my onesie all snug. Had late tea, snack, now it's ten to 9 and I'm a celebrity is on soon then it's back to more tele then bed whenever.
Mum keeps asking me if I'm okay- just cause I'm like ultra quiet and isolated today.

I just want to escape from the world.
I just wish I was dead.

So> last night was also pretty shit.
I need to learn who my friends are. I've had enough of my supposed to be friend- she uses me and is the most ignorant and rude person I have ever met. So, I've had enough of her for a few weeks...
Looks like this week I'm gonna stay inside my little house being an extra depressive boring bitch, even more than usual- yes, I think it's possible...

After going out (and not getting drunk as planned) yesterday I drove home and listened to my music full blast (probably not the best idea since afterwards I had a headache), I sung along- thank god nobody was on the roads or pavement else they would have heard. It was around 3am. I just thought to myself- wishing I could actually give up. I cried and cried.
Thank god the darkness would hide me and the roads were near enough clear!

I think I just had enough for the million-th time.

Like I said- ill give it a couple of years. If nothing better comes from this 'life' then I truly do give up and death here I come...



oh. And stupidest thing ever.
The house I have lived in for all my life, yeah, we'll. I ordered some underwear before from Ann summers and then went and ordered more of debenams. I put on both of them my address with the wrong door number. I must be the stupidest person ever. So I told mum and she's gonna go round to the house tomorrow to tell them and ask them to bring us the parcels.
I wouldn't mind that much, it's just like if they don't give them us, and they nosey in it, well- embarrassment for me as I bought tons of pretty bras, knickers and thongs.
Blah. Here's hoping they don't look and be nice decent neighbours and give them to me as soon as they arrive ! They have my name on just the wrong number- I'm such a dumb blonde!!