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I'm not feeling too christmassy this year. I usually absolutely love Christmas. Despite being me and depressed and sort of alone. I can overlook it cause theres the decorations and the songs and it's Christmas. This year is different though. I think it's just the extra utter shittness of having nobody at all. And doing nothing. I don't bother anything anymore- not even going For random drives because I can. Just stay indoors, least I'm warm. Watching tele. Staying in my pyjamas, onesies and trackies and not even bothering to brush my hair. Fucks. I am a bigger mess than usual. I'm gonna wait till like Christmas eve to talk to people that ive fallen out with again- maybe they'll be feeling oright too and in the friends forgiving mood. Ahahahaha. Okay. Bored. Sat in the conserverty, heater on, watching tele. Oh. And this extra EXTRA depressive moods I have I get extra EXTRA irritable and pissed off by everything and escpially my family. God. I'm going crazy. Help Maybe death will come soon, oh please...
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