find somebody... | brokenalways's Blog
I feel weird today. I should really be in a good mood- with the amount of people who seem to give a shit about me. - but i suppose it's cause i kinda know that they don't- they want something- or need something- or just are passing the time...
I don't feel like getting close to anyone anymore. I mean- i can't ever be happy with someone, i think. i doubt i'll ever be happy, married, the whole thing like... cause i fuck things up too much and too quickly.
and i guess i'm kinda like worried... in case they do something to hurt me.
I mean- being hurt by someone fucking sucks. and, i'm not gonna be hurt by anyone anymore. so- i have given up. i won't get close to anyone so much anymore. i won't let myself be like that- how i used to be.
Like--- i know i'll never find anybody 'like me' and that's like good in some ways- cause two fucked up people in a relationship or anything wouldn't be good... but i mean- i wouldn't want someone perfect or near perfect, cause i've had that before, and it's on my end- non stop comparing and thinking of people judging. i mean- my personality is so weird how i can be so loud and confident but also so shy and insecure. Makes no sense. Sure i have a oppisite twin inside of me.....
Listening to - hey soul sister... Aaaah. Better going with the more happy songs so my mood doesn't get any worse. eh?
''you're the one I have decided- who's one of my kind... I'm so glad you have a one track mind like me...'''
Aaah- listening to 'champion' now by chris brown & chipmunk. OH it's quiet old. but i love it. --- reminds me of that three weeks of happiness i had in the sunninest of March last year. It was the closest i have felt happiness in as long as i can remember. I'd do anything to go back to then,
i was in college. but i laughed so much. the sun was out. i felt comfortable as i wasn't fat or chubby then. i had all my friends. i had a guy. i had my fun and it's weird how much i did laugh in those 3 weeks.
... then it all went away again.
Take Me BACK!!
There are no comments on this post yet, be the first to leave one!
Previous Postsemotional child..., posted August 12th, 2014
excitement up up up..., posted August 3rd, 2014
cuddles for me..., posted May 8th, 2014
happy, happier, happiness..., posted May 4th, 2014
not one of those days..., posted April 29th, 2014
just happy..., posted April 23rd, 2014
hatred..., posted February 22nd, 2014
on with things..., posted February 15th, 2014
time..., posted February 5th, 2014
boredness blah..., posted January 30th, 2014
not right..., posted January 26th, 2014
always a good..., posted January 21st, 2014
waiting for the future..., posted January 13th, 2014
super horny..., posted January 5th, 2014
back to normal..., posted January 4th, 2014
home..., posted December 18th, 2013
worlds cruel..., posted November 26th, 2013
hope everythings fine..., posted November 13th, 2013
all done..., posted October 26th, 2013
moody thing..., posted October 23rd, 2013
new day..., posted October 12th, 2013
Its' confidence..., posted October 9th, 2013
better for tomorrow..., posted September 29th, 2013
saturday..., posted September 28th, 2013
kinda lucky..., posted September 27th, 2013
something wrong..., posted September 22nd, 2013
starting..., posted September 22nd, 2013
too quick, too nervous..., posted September 16th, 2013, 1 comment
desperation led to goodness..., posted September 15th, 2013
second week..., posted September 11th, 2013
not much..., posted September 7th, 2013
better..., posted August 6th, 2013
it hurts..., posted August 4th, 2013
home..., posted July 29th, 2013
Lovely day..., posted July 9th, 2013
says it by the name..., posted July 7th, 2013
Not sure..., posted July 2nd, 2013
living for the weekends..., posted June 25th, 2013
What's happened..., posted June 12th, 2013
long..., posted May 19th, 2013
too good..., posted May 8th, 2013
dog..., posted May 6th, 2013
touchy..., posted May 5th, 2013
mood..., posted May 4th, 2013
happy..., posted May 2nd, 2013
away..., posted April 28th, 2013
bound to happen..., posted April 27th, 2013
story..., posted April 21st, 2013
lazy sunday..., posted April 21st, 2013
time again..., posted April 20th, 2013
BlogrollHere are some friends' blogs...
HelpEmbed Photos Embed Videos
Question of the Day
A fun new question each day. Winners get trophies and points.
Respond and Vote Now!