alone... | brokenalways's Blog

  Feeling pretty okay but kinda shit tonight. Nearly half 6, freezing cold in my room- just turned heating on. Room is tidy. Thinking about what tomorrow's gonna bring. I'm more nervous about how my first day at volunteering will do more than i am about the interview. an interview is an interview- your never really gonna see them again if you completely fuck up and embarrass yourself. I pretty much always embarrass myself anyway- so used to it! But the people where im gonna go do seam really nice- i just gotta put on a smile and be happy for a few hours. I mean- in that environment anyway- it's pretty hard not to smile. i mean at first- i'm forgetful and clumsy and dumb and shy but i'll get over it. AND maybe these interview's this week will go somewhere... You know i'm doubtful but whatever, it could do- positive thinking and all....

 Apart from thinking of that shit- i feel kinda lonely tonight. Was gonna go friends house but decided not to- don't ask me why... Now all i see is 'happy this... love that...' i mean- seriously people have to post everything perfect about their lives on facebook- showing off - i fucking get it! :)

 Okay. This is a change of music from a second ago. 'Echo' from bad meets evil- swears like a billion times in it... but i like it. I love some of their songs & eminem is totally amazing... though one of his songs where bruno mars did the singing bit 'lighters' and well alot of their songs really are REALLY like- oh my god! cause their so graphic and some ways they describe things are totally ew. like whatever- i like most of their songs. & despite the words i don't mind- i love the song 'lighters' though i did have to press the skip button when my mum was in the car before! :D

  Just changed cause i'm so cold- fluffy socks on. shorts off, PJ pants on. hoodie on. still pretty damm cold.
Tired too. ACTUALLY managed to sleep last night before 2AM- how amazing!!!!! Recently it has been a miracale if i've got to sleep before 4... so hopefully cause i woke up really early today too- i can get sleep earlier again tonight- woo! Plus hopefully i can since i am up early again tomorrow for the interview...

Listening to Leona Lewis on shuffle ipod- never even heard this song before- it's actually okay.
'Where do i go when I'm so alone?'
 NOW super depressing- i hope you dance. has come on.
 Fucking weird my music from 2012 music to like really really old shit. but what are amazing. then slow and fast and all over the place...
 'i hope whenever on door closes, i hope one more opens....'
    I DO too!