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not okay... | brokenalways's Blog



 
  Wish i could feel okay for one whole day.
 
Life sucks. I doubt i will ever feel- just okay, even just fine, for 24 hours, waking up to sleep.

 
 So i'm listening to my music on bed. Tryna read over some stuff for tomorrows interview... i don't even see the point of going to it- since i bascially have a job now from yesterdays interview. but, i mean- they rang first, and i cant ring them up now can i?
 So up early tomorrow, go at 9, wake up at half 8, probably earlier. There for half 10.
I'm totally shit at interviews- not even like i will get it. but, whatever...

 This music is totally depressing but amazing. I've got back into taylor swift. her music is fucking beautiful! :)

 So. Yeah. Not arsed 1 bit for tomorrow's early and kinda awkward start. Then a long three hours at home bored and being pissing annoyed by the builders- till volunteer work again- which is good, it is. Then back home for half 6 ish and relax. Then it's friday. Nothing planned but volunteer stuff again. Then home. I was gonna go out with this new guy, but, i don't know- theres something i can't put my finger on- but there's something i don't like about him. Not to mention he hasn't texted me back since the other day, oh well...

 I'm looking forward to getting next Monday -Wednesday over with. Then soon as- i can start work! :)
Yay...

 My brother was going on about how he can't wait to see the amount of parcels coming to the door when i'm working and have money coming into my bank account. It's bad enough as it is. Never mind when i can spend spend spend cause i am actually working and getting paid.
 First EVER job. Ever... Gonna be weird. Gonna be okay though.

 I was thinking- yeah- what this job is, isn't my 'ideal' job- but it's a lot of money for me. My brother was shocked about how much it actually is! And- it is more experience, something different, something interesting, and maybe when i am older i might want something a job more to do with this and this will help it lodes! Plus i could get another qualification easily! May aswell, haven't i!?
 
 I thought i was sure or kinda sure what i wanted to do for a job. I'm not overly arsed anymore though. I am only 18 anyway. i have my life ahead (as long as i don't commit suicide...). So i don't need to get into the job i want to do for the rest of my life right now, do i !?
 
 So yeaaaaah......................................

   Feeling pretty shit but whatever. Guess i should read over some stuffs and try and memorize them for tomorrow. WEIRD how i know hundreds of songs, but i'm totally shit at remembering other things. Ah well.
 Hopefully it won't be totally shit tomorrow. AH good luck me....

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