nooo... | brokenalways's Blog

 Just NOT looking forward to tomorrow at all. I feel horrible. I just feel fat.
 I wore leggings & a t-shirt today and yesterday so thought i'd wear tights & shorts with a top today. Just made sure i had some shorts which weren't totally overly short (cause it is to do with work) and they all make me look horrific, huge & fat. I hate my body!!!
  Can't wait to lose fucking weight. Sick of being fat. My ars has always been big but it's now just bigger and not even tonned... Ew. Hate it.
 SO now i have no idea what to wear since i've no nice clean leggings to wear for tomorrow, and i'm not gonna wear jeans cause she was like- wear something comfy and like easy to move in kinda thing. Sucks. Obviously i'm not gonna go in my trackies and i don't wanna wear a dress cause we're going up this lift thing and i do not want anybody to be looking up me. Yeah...
  fuck, Fuck, FUCK.

 Why do i get annoyed so easily- gawwwd dammit!

 I've got a headache, gonna try & get to sleeps now hopefully i won't be trying to sleep for hoursssss. Makes no sense how i don't sleep much at night. Don't sleep in the day. And then can't sleep at night. Urgh...
 OH and sucksssssss. Cause i have to get up at half 7 tomorrow so i can go shops and get this thing i need. Ew. Half an hour earlier. I haven't woke up so early in fucking monthssssss! It will actually kill me. Cannot wait for tomorrow night when i can have a lie in and then Saturday a do-nothing day. Hopefully!!

 MY lips are chapped, and it's gonna be totally icy, slippery, shit, again tomorrow> Look on the bright side of life- i'm gonna be starting my new job soon as soon as the checks come in.....

  Still have no idea what to wear tomorrow. Something nice. Something which doesn't make me look like i'm a pregnant whale, something sensible and comfy, something appropriate but still pretty...

 OH. And i ordered more stuff before. DAMM i seriously am i shopaholic. I said last week that bunch of stuff i got was the last time. My wardrobes and cupboards are overflowing, trapping my fingers everytime i try to close them. Sucks. And i bought two more tops. a t-shirt, dress, jeans, shorts, then some pretty stuff- this little decoration thing i just thought looked cute, a little holder thingy, a cushion (why?), headband, vest top, a hat, some pretty stuff for the walls (why?) and a flask thing (why?) Actually addicted to buying stuffs even if it's not clothes. Darn.

    Watching a movie on BBC. Bored though after watching it like 12 times already before! Maybe i'll get sooo bored & then fall asleep. Oh hopefully> maybe i should come off here, put laptop on the floor, set my alarms for tomorrow and then i'll have more chance of falling asleep. Ah. Maybe...

  I might just go in mum's room tomorrow morning  (oops to waking her up) to hunt for some leggings. Doubt there will be though since she's washed everything today and ironed most of it and give it me already and there's no leggings in there- well there was but old shitty ones. I need my nice new ones not cheep ones where you can see my fat ass through it !

 Sucks. I don't know why i'm so bothered. I just feel like being totally pissed over something which isn't really anything that important. Ah. Blimeyyyyyyyyyyy :D